When I started out this blog, I was a closeted gay guy hung up on sex and love without even knowing the difference between the two. I am glad I’m over that.

I am now out to my closest family and friends. I also have a loving partner whom I’ve been living with for over two years now. My concerns have changed.

I used to like reading gay blogs. Lacking a guide on how to live a healthy gay life, I used to turn to those blogs as a source of information but most of the gay blogs I used to follow concerns and limits themselves with the following:
1) finding love and getting laid
2) drama of being gay
3) partying and getting drunk
4) fashion
5) low art
6) porn

I recently turned 34 and I realized that those listed above are not my main concerns anymore. I am generally concerned with what most adults (gay or otherwise) my age are concerned with. Now, I’m more concerned with
1) having a long-term healthy relationship with my partner
2) financial security
3) investing on health and wellness
4) taking care of family, specifically the aging parents
5) the idea of growing old

Those concerns are not necessarily gay concerns but I think there will be a slight difference for gay guys. Right now, I really don’t know where to start. I’m back in a confused state but with a different list of confusion. This is my blog and this is my attempt to clear out this confusion.

I’m planning to take an absence without leave for two days just because I want to. They’re not gonna fire me. I don’t think they would even reprimand me. They suck that much.

I was reading a blog yesterday about this closeted gay couple who enjoys a third party watching while they make love. The third party thought that maybe he plays the necessary witness to the great love shared by the lovers. They act like they’re just the best of friends and not lovers when they are with people they know. This story also reminded me of another book I read. It talked about how we, as lovers, need to express our love not only directed to the beloved but to be also witnessed by the world (which could be friends, family or any 3rd party.)

Being a blog reader, I’ve seen a number of love stories told online. Most of these love stories are written by closeted gay men. Some tend to be comic, poetic, dramatic, erotic or graphic but they can’t hide the love story. A lot of them are wonderful stories and it’s sad that they can only be shared online, to people they never met and probably never will.

I understand this need to expose (discreetly or otherwise) the way I love someone. To be labeled as a (sweet, wonderful, creative, great or any positive adjective) lover by other people could be one of the best compliment one could receive. There’s pride in being called a lover.

It’s also sad that they don’t get the support from the people around them. We all know how the society helps in building (or destroying) a partnership including romantic ones. There’s unnecessary stress with hidden relationships and this could be hard on the couple (not all though, for some can handle it well).

And lately, you haven’t heard from me (and my love story). We’ll it’s going great! I didn’t feel the need to share it online because I can display my love to my partner with the rest of the people that matters to us–well not every people that matters to us but we’ll get there.